Wow! April 29 was my last post here… I cannot believe I have not updated for soooo long.
Reasons are I don’t want to whine and whine. I know I do that every time I try to post something. As I have mentioned in my previous post, I don’t like whiners!!!
However, I think I am becoming one.
Now, where should I start?
I’m still here in our very prestigious project. We might stay a bit longer but that’s ok. I may be pressured but I enjoy work. Sometimes, I don’t but most of the time I do.
With regards to my relationship with Rob… its WONDERFUL, GREAT, AMAZING but of course we do experience some ups and downs but I think we are ‘a-ok’…. (trivia: we’re on our 6th year and counting).
On to the not-so-good part, I am very depressed with my writing activity. Everybody has been so supportive of me (thanks to alli, papa ces and rob), it’s just ME…
To cope with that, I have been reading (again)… I started about a week ago.. or maybe a month ago (Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic series, Undomestic Goddess — now, Up Country, a bit serious). I hope this will help me be energised and start writing again.
Actually, I tried but then my boss (who became my critic) said it sounds like an advert. So, until this very day even if the event has passed already, I’m still doing it for myself.
Let’s just hope I finish it before the year ends.
Second depressing thought is my feelings over this country. I am in a state wherein I’m happy because being here gave me a chance to be with Rob and bring our relationship to the next level but a bit irritated, frustrated about certain things beyond my control.
Friends (close or not) might know about this ‘irritation and restlessness’ that I feel. I don’t know what to say… this situation has reached its limit (from my point of view).
I am close to you but should I be on guard with every move I do and every word I say? why? Suddenly, I feel I have to please you but why? Your words never come out right. It’s as if you think you have to control me. Maybe I made one mistake but should I see / hear / feel that whenever we talk? This is beginning to be very hard for me to deal with yet I never tell because I knew it would definitely destroy our friendship….yet, I think I am about to burst… I hope it’s not too late. JUST remember, YOU DON’T OWN ME!