** Mental Note: Will post a blog about the ‘awards’ night with pictures. Unfortunately, it will not be from where it was held but it will be from our lil home. **
I think I’m having a crisis. Sort of.
I felt that I was never the same after my previous post … about saying goodbyes? I tried to be better… taken my mind off from ‘the issue’ and focused on other things like work, Rob, new house… however, there is this force that keeps pulling me back… I tried moving away from it but like a rubber band it brings me back to that state again.
Apart from that feeling, a lot of things have happened beyond our control… The friend I said goodbye to… have lost her angel. I was stunned when I heard about it.
From that instant, I wanted to be there however with the ‘situation’, I never got the chance… even to see her angel… one last time.
I did not want my friendship / relationship with her be affected with whatever that issue is… however, we have our own upbringing, principles and beliefs on certain aspects of life that I cannot contradict. Even if that issue happened, I was a friend to her first… thought about her… her condition… everything.
Yet, it was never returned.
I guess they both believed that the ‘issue’ was not an ‘issue’ at all. I felt that she did not really see through me… how hurt I was… how it has affected me…
Today, I thought of going home (Philippines) because I think I don’t fit in here… a lot of things had happen which were not in my favour but then if I run away from this… I will be running away from my problems for the rest of my life.
I have to face it by standing firm to what I believe in… not letting people pull me down… I have to end my misery because I know I have done everything I could. As they say, it takes two to tango.
I will fight… I know I can do it… I shall not quit.