We live in a fast paced world where sometimes we literally forget to smell the roses, appreciate the air we breathe, smile at people who never fails to give us their undivided attention and thank a person for being there.
I had a lot of struggles in my life right now… actually I am still struggling.
I am still trying to fit my ‘new dress’ as a wife to Robert. Yes, we have been living together for the past four years yet I never had this sense of obligation (this is not the right word but this is the closest word I can think of) to be there for him.
Apart from that, I am still in my ‘old dress’ which is being a daughter and sister. I do not want to let go of that dress but then I know I had to – so I can start my own family.
These two roles sometimes bring me down and confused.
I know that I should be giving more for my ‘new’ family but then I had to focus more on ‘my’ family. It bothered me a lot because I cannot fulfill my role to Robert.
Fortunately, Robert is very supportive of me. I know he feels my pain whenever I end up crying because of frustration and at times, depression.
Just a few weeks back, I decided to just let it go and stop asking questions – just ‘go with the flow’.
It felt amazing… I was able to sleep better, I felt lighter.
Going with the flow does not mean that I am deliberately ignoring the ‘issues’ but then I decided to go with the flow and deal with it when I know I am ready to make the decision.
I do not know what will happen in case I do make the decision but I know I should be prepared with it. 😉