I still have some hang-ups about my old blog (see my last post).
I feel like I have put myself out there – people reading and feeling my emotions on that particular day. In other words, I was not that cautious on what I want to blog about – not a care in the world – I just publish it!
Not sure if you can call that being immature but I think and firmly believe that writing is an outlet for me. Whatever you read here is a manifesto (cool word huh?! Background: Been watching this TV series entitled ‘Dexter‘ and the last episode Rob and I were watching had this word all over the script!) of what my thoughts were on that day or something that I just needed to let out.
For a few months, I would visit this blog, read it and attempts to write something impersonal.
I just can’t.
I am not sure if this is because of the fact that when you see me in person, I am not the type who would gladly say what’s on her mind – rather, I try to blend (Hmmm… I might have been a chameleon before) and you know be one with the crowd… though if there is something like a message that I want to send across – be assured that it will be communicated – only it will not be by yours truly but someone close to me (how I do it? Well, you have to watch closely :P) .
With that, all the rage or happiness or sadness that I feel can be read through here – my personal thoughts. My highs and lows are here. Of course, there are still some things that cannot be documented but I can say most of them are in here.
I tried being impartial with what I write but when I re-read it, I always end up deleting it or not publishing it because of one reason – it’s not me. It feels like a stranger is talking to me.
As per Dexter, you have to embrace yourself – which is what I intend to do and besides it will be like hitting to birds with one stone – I let my emotions out and I get to write about it! 🙂
So, this is me trying to be real again 🙂
Catch you later…