Daughter, Sister, Wife, Friend, Coordinator, Writer and Me!

Posts tagged ‘thoughts’

Tribute to Motime and more…


Before this blog ever materialized, I had an old blog which housed most of my thoughts when I was still working in the Philippines.

It had all of my angst (I have actually transferred them all on this blog), my fears and my love poems for my then boyfriend, R.

I was very active then and I guess with my friends blogging about their week or about work, it makes me feel connected with them however I guess people moved on by using Facebook and Twitter.

There are still some who blogs (like me and you… and you…) but I have to admit the number of people have been lessened (please prove me wrong!!) so I neglected that blog.

Whenever I read my posts, I laugh, sometimes I can feel that I blush or turn red (because of embarrassment) and at times, sad. With all these mix of emotions, I decided to come up with this blog because I thought, let me start anew.

A few years have passed and a few months back, I have received a notification that “motime” was closing down. I got an email giving me step by step instructions on how I can export my blog should I wish to keep it.

I did.

I felt sad for motime and I really hope they had a good run housing people’s emotional breakdowns, irritating whines about life and love, angst about their partners and so on.

As for me, I thought maybe I can re-do this blog too.

Start anew.

Not really to erase what has been published but… but… I really can’t think of a better word than “focus”.

I might also close down some of my blogs (probably leave this and my portfolio blog which is here) and re-open them when I’m back to writing two to three posts in a week! In that way, I can focus more on where and what I want to write about.

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Random


I don’t really have anything to write tonight but I just want to make a note of this day.

Today is the day, I thought of taking care of my health. I am hoping that I can get a positive outcome from this… To be honest, the hubby is challenging me if I will be able to last for like a year or more.

I am determined to do this for me.

This is a big step…

About Me…


Now what about me?

Well, I have been reading again (thanks to my Kindle!). I have been slow reading because ever since I bought my Kindle, I think I was only able to finish three books!!!

I know!! What happen?

I think I am so caught up with my iPhone that I am more active in my online social life rather than enjoying a laid-back day with my Kindle.

Yes, I keep mentioning the Kindle because I have packed all my paperback and hardbound books. They are now in transit together with our ‘other’ stuff. I am not sure if I have mentioned it but we are in the process of ‘moving around’ Β (people who know me will understand what I am talking about). So, as part of the process, the books have to go first because that means I free up space which means less boxes to worry about.

What else about me…. nuninuninu…

I have not bought shoes for the past six months (OMG!)… and I am itching to buy one or maybe two? Again, I am not able to do that because of this moving around business… or could it be that I am so engrossed with gadgets now that I keep forgetting (intentionally) to buy shoes.

Hmmm… I know I’m just blabbing… I need to free up my memory as well so that I can fill it up with new ones – hopefully, happy and encouraging thoughts / ideas that I can eventually share here.

I think that is me at the moment… watch this space for more (hopefully, not too long!) πŸ™‚

Forgiveness – Part 2


After my post yesterday, I just could not sleep. I was just tumbling and shuffling on the bed. Maybe it is because I was hoping for a quick response or I don’t know maybe I was still thinking if I did the right thing.

I was struggling but of course I did not want to wake up Rob so I had to be still but my mind was everywhere. Flashbacks of what has happened came to picture… It was like reading them from a book only they were all just in my memory.

However, sleep did find me … It was a bit after eight when I woke up. I immediately checked and see if there was something from him.

There it was the response that I was waiting for.

I felt light. A feeling I never had for about a few months now. Nothing related to my ‘baby fats’ … (just to confirm I am not losing weight) but that ‘heavy’ feeling left me.

I now look forward for a conversation where we can laugh until we cry.

The feeling is good πŸ™‚

I hope it stays this way.

Forgiveness


This is my highlight for today…

It took me a lot of time to really say what is in my heart. Hopefully, it doesn’t go to deaf ears or better yet not to be read by anybody else but him and me.

I really hope.

To move or not?


As I have been blogging for the past few days / weeks, I am thinking of moving into another blogging platform – why? Wordpres has little flexibility when it comes to their free weblog users (boo!).

I have maintained this blog for a period now (and unfortunately, there were really some moments wherein I am not that active… All part of the past!) and of course I do not want to start over… 😦

I mean… I also get to think if changing the format of a blog and writing in your blog are two different important things… I know I should be the one to answer this but I am also a bit preoccupied with a lot of things in my mind… our house renovation in the Philippines, is the ‘end-all, be-all’ plan going to happen, current state of our job security here in UAE, our impending contract renewal for our flat here in Dubai and a lot of more.

Though of course, my blog is as important as all those that I have mentioned and I am now trying to take a step on what is the way to move forward…

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On the same subject (‘moving’), we are also faced with a dilemma if we should move accommodation or not. Actually, we are still waiting for management to inform us if they are still willing to renew our contract then we (house members of six) get to decided if we all want to be together or not.

Another factor that we have to consider is if the landlord will still maintain the same contract value as last year. We just noticed that a lot of people have been moving out of this building. We are unsure if this is because 1) the rent went up or 2) there are a lot of inexpensive new buildings within the UAE

Real estate and hotel-type accommodation in this country is still down and so a lot of these investors either have their property rented out to expatriates in the country rather than losing money by being ‘picky’.

Silently, I know, in their own time (like what we do), all of our house members are thinking what is the way to go forward…

Move out or not?

What do you think?

Being real?


I still have some hang-ups about my old blog (see my last post).

I feel like I have put myself out there – people reading and feeling my emotions on that particular day. In other words, I was not that cautious on what I want to blog about – not a care in the world – I just publish it!

Not sure if you can call that being immature but I think and firmly believe that writing is an outlet for me. Whatever you read here is a manifesto (cool word huh?! Background: Been watching this TV series entitled ‘Dexter‘ and the last episode Rob and I were watching had this word all over the script!) of what my thoughts were on that day or something that I just needed to let out.

For a few months, I would visit this blog, read it and attempts to write something impersonal.

I just can’t.

I am not sure if this is because of the fact that when you see me in person, I am not the type who would gladly say what’s on her mind – rather, I try to blend (Hmmm… I might have been a chameleon before) and you know be one with the crowd… though if there is something like a message that I want to send across – be assured that it will be communicated – only it will not be by yours truly but someone close to me (how I do it? Well, you have to watch closely :P) .

With that, all the rage or happiness or sadness that I feel can be read through here – my personal thoughts. My highs and lows are here. Of course, there are still some things that cannot be documented but I can say most of them are in here.

Raw emotions.

I tried being impartial with what I write but when I re-read it, I always end up deleting it or not publishing it because of one reason – it’s not me. It feels like a stranger is talking to me.

As per Dexter, you have to embrace yourself – which is what I intend to do and besides it will be like hitting to birds with one stone – I let my emotions out and I get to write about it! πŸ™‚

So, this is me trying to be real again πŸ™‚

Catch you later…